18 September 2010

FLASHBACK: My College Death Paper (2002)

We had a project for our psychology class way back 4th year college and it was entitled “ Death Paper, A Perspective To Living Life Fully” ( I think that was the title). Anyway, it made me think of the future and the project forced me to think of how I would want my life to end. It really made me cry especially the part where we had to write letters for our ‘bereaved’ love ones. Well, let me share a part of the project…this is how I would want to ‘perish’ in this world.

My death was all so sudden. It was a plane crash. It was a trip from Europe back to the Philippines. It was a British Airline’s DC-969 jumbo jet. The pilot spoke through the intercom and brokenly admitted that they have two engine malfunctions, meaning that there was no spare engine left. 25,000 feet below us are the snowy Swiss Alps. It wasn’t snowing hard but it was still freezing out there. We were about to crash land. I was alone. My husband left a week earlier to tend to business concerns. I didn’t know anyone else on the plane except for my seatmate who I barely spoke to and who’s also years older than me. I was 50 years old. I just celebrated my birthday last month. This trip to Europe was a gift from my two children. They knew it was my dream to go on a trip to Europe. So they finally organized all the details of the trip and surprised me and my husband with two round trip tickets bound for the continent of my dreams complete with accommodations and a tourist guide. I was so touched. But I didn’t hold a grudge against them because they are the reason why I was in this situation now. They did it on a good purpose. Even now that the captain has told us that we are about to make a crash landing, I prayed first for my family for them to be able to cope with whatever is going to happen to me. And I’m also thankful that my husband is not here with me. He wasn’t supposed to leave me alone but I insisted, saying that it was okay, that I’ll stay with some relatives for a short time then I’ll go back home also. Oh! I should have come with him back home. If only I wasn’t so insistent on staying. But that was the past now, the reality is that we’re speeding faster and faster towards the side of a snowy peak. I held the hand of my seatmate. We both prayed for the forgiveness of our sins. Then there it was, we crashed at the mountain somewhere in Switzerland. I felt a quick jolt of heat burning my skin and blurring my vision. Then blackness…
Before we flew off to Europe, my family was gathered around us. Me and my husband and my two children, Lara and James, were giving us our getaway presents. They are still young, my children, Lara was 22 years old and James was 20. They are bright and very loving children. Though I’ve spoiled them greatly, they didn’t grow up to be brats. They’re great kids. Before I went inside our van, I hugged them tight and said to them that if anything bad would happen to me, they should not hesitate to go to their titos and titas for they would treat them as if they are their own offspring. They just laughed and said that I was being so paranoid. My relatives were also there to bid us goodbye, not knowing that it would be the last they would see of me. I hugged them one by one and said to them that if anything unexpected would happen, they should take care of Lara and James and help them get on with their lives. They just hugged me back and laughingly said, of course.
After my family heard the news of the crash, they immediately went to the airport and interrogated whoever was in charge there. Their suspicions were confirmed. There were no survivors left. All bodies were burned to a crisp. The rescue team were looking for the cockpit voice recorder now. My family couldn’t believe it. They were still in denial and shock. My husband was hysterical, Lara fainted and James was still. Many media people were there already. They taped my family’s reactions and tried to get an interview but were unsuccessful. The search went on for weeks and they found whatever earthly remains were left of me and sent it to my family. All of my kin were mourning but they have now slowly accepted the tragedy. They are still crying when they thought of my premonitions before but they have to get on with their lives. For now, I would just be a memory for them to think of everyday until they’ll slowly forget the sad event.

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